Free To Write

I haven’t written a post in almost a year. In that time, I have travelled to England for some much needed R&R, gotten pregnant, and miraculously delivered my first and possibly only take home baby.

Why didn’t I write about our last TTC experience? Why didn’t I write the entire time I was pregnant?

I couldn’t… I got through each experience minute by minute.

Emotionally, I was done. We were submitting paperwork for adoption when my husband asked that we give it one more go.

Mentally, I was all jumbled up and lost. I had nothing left to say.

Irrationally, I had started to feel that if I wrote it down, I would jinx myself. Writing it down would mean reliving heartbreak again and again and again.

Now I’m wondering if I regret not keeping a journal or blog about my last pregnancy. I don’t. I’m sure it would’ve been useful to someone, but it wasn’t for me. I captured the experience in private photos and entries on various forums. But that’s it and I’m ok with that.

I’m feeling the freedom to write again. I must have something to say.